10 WORST
1. John C. Reilly
It’s no surprise we don’t have a signed photo of 2008’s No. 1 Worst Signer. John C. Reilly almost never signs and can be downright cruel about it. Before Reilly sang as Dewey Cox, he crooned in Chicago about being invisible. That’s how he treats fans now. He signed just a few for a huge crowd while promoting Chicago, and we heard he refused to sign at all while doing Tale of 2 Cities on Broadway this year.
“He’s been quoted saying, ‘It’s a free country, and I can do what I choose. I choose not to sign,’” Aring reports. “While he was promoting Walk Hard, he actually did sign. But he only signed ‘Dewey.’”
His bad attitude isn’t limited to these shores. “He laughed and walked through fans like they weren’t there at the Ritz Carlton in Berlin,” says Markus Brandes of The German Autograph Society. “After a few days, fans started to get angry at him, shouting and whistling. He started leaving by different routes to avoid them. It was the same thing when Reilly was here a few years ago.”
But his stinginess may be limited to fans. At an Aid for AIDS benefit on October 19, he pledged to double the largest donation that night. He penned a check for a very generous $30,000. At the rate he signs, that check may be worth more cancelled one day.
2. William Shatner
“Beam me up, Scotty. I’ve pissed-off everyone I can on this planet.”
If nasty were a virtue, William Shatner would be a saint. He seems to take such joy in torturing fans and collectors that Shatner is known around Autograph as the “Marquis de Sign.”
“I had him one-on-one while he waited for a car and asked him to sign a head shot,” reports Autograph reader Charlie Sterbini. “He said, ‘I’m not allowed.’” He just stood there and looked away with a stupid grin on his face.” Sterbini had two other requests for Shatner’s autograph shot down as well.
“The last time I saw him, he was leaving The View. I was waiting for another celebrity while two other fans waited for him. I warned them what they were in for, and as his car pulled out with the windows rolled down, Shatner shook his head no when they asked him to sign.”
Shatner sells his autograph, which we think is great because it makes it available to fans everywhere. But report after report of his arrogance and stinginess keeps him moving up this list.
At a booksigning in Los Angeles this year for Up Till Now, Shatner would only sign one book per person. “He didn’t interact with anyone,” says Aring, “And he insisted on seeing every person that wanted a book signed, which meant that no one could get a second book signed for anyone else. When someone asked to get a book signed for his brother, Shatner responded, ‘Get your brother down here then!’”
A fan was heard mumbling where the Captain could boldly go.
3. Will Ferrell
Will Ferrell headed up our Worst Signers list in 2007, and he’s pretty close to the top this year. He’s been starring in comedies alongside John C. Reilly, so it seems that bad signers run in packs, like good ones do. “He has gotten a little better,” says Aring. “But not much. He used to be so nice, and although he tries to use the excuse of trying to avoid having his autograph sold on eBay, that doesn’t fly. His autograph doesn’t sell on eBay.”
He’s such a bad signer that no one believes they’re real.
“He tops my list of worst signers for the second year in a row,” said Risi. “Thiis smug, arrogant, pompous man loves to avoid his fans. Whether at a premiere, an interview, or simply walking down the street, chances are Ferrell will not oblige any autograph requests. He may even go as far as to mock and belittle the fan asking for one.”
We loved him last February on Conan O’Brien when he spoofed being our worst signer. So when we ran across him a few months later we thanked him for being such a good sport. Our reporter even suggested that Ferrell wouldn’t be on the list this year. But fans and collectors tells us that he’s still one of the worst signers in Hollywood.
Sorry Will—you’re back on the list.
4. Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwyneth Paltrow should take pointers from her Iron Man costar and good signer, Robert Downing Jr. on how to treat fans.
“She’s probably the snootiest of signers on this list,” says Risi. “Paltrow will try to ignore everyone as she walks by, or she’ll just pointblank tell you, in her condescending tone, ‘I do not sign autographs.’”
Even KidzWorld.com named her one of their worst signers. If Paltrow can’t be kind to the kiddies, don’t expect much if you meet her.
5. Tobey Maguire
Year in and year out, Tobey Maguire makes our worst list. This year saw far worse signers, but Maguire still easily makes the top 5.
He’s not nasty. He’s stingy with the Sharpie. The typical meeting of fan and Maguire is like the one Richard Simpkin had last season at a Lakers game. Maguire shook his hand, but no amount of petitioning would get him to sign an autograph.
Serious collectors and kids alike find Maguire to be less than accommodating. Maguire was on Kidzworld.com’s list, too—as their No. 1 Worst Signer.
Their verdict was the same as ours: Maguire simply doesn’t sign.
6. Steve Carell
When it comes to celebrities who don’t ever sign, Steve Carell is making a name for himself. “This guy just doesn’t do it,” says Aring. “It’s just a bother for him.” Collector Dave Brooks agrees: “I’ve seen him at three events, and he didn’t sign for anyone.”
Risi tells us he’s not that nice to fans, either. “He’s one of those celebrities surrounded by a small entourage that does all the talking—and refusing for that matter. You’re bound to be greeted with an ‘I’m sorry we’re late.’ Then another voice will say, ‘Maybe later,’ but later rarely comes. And if it does, be sure to have a black pen. Like Will Ferrell, he believes that autographs signed in blue are always for sale.”
Maybe someone should replace that World’s Greatest Boss mug on his desk in The Office with one that says World’s Worst Signer.
7. Tom Hanks
Tom Hanks used to be a good signer. What happened? We don’t know. Maybe he’s so rich and famous that he considers signing even a few autographs for fans an avoidable annoyance. We’re willing to bet that as a struggling actor, before Bosom Buddies and his Oscar-winning movie career, he dreamed of being famous and signing autographs for adoring fans. But that was a long time ago.
“Hollywood nice guy my foot!” says Aring. “This year alone, I’ve seen him yell at girls who were just excited fans, tell an entire crowd after a day’s movie shoot that he doesn’t sign, and he shouted a bunch of expletives at me personally. All I did was ask Tom for his autograph, but he kept yelling at me while he rode away on his bike.”
8. Adam Sandler
If Will Ferrell is any indication, there seems to be a trend among Hollywood comics who leave SNL for movie careers— they often become bad signers.
“It’s been years since you could say Adam Sandler was nice,” says Aring. “Signing is all a bother to him now, and he’s taken to yelling at collectors. ‘What are you gonna do with this,’ he asks, ‘hang it on your wall?’ And then he doesn’t even sign.”
Our experience hasn’t been much different. We remember Sandler bombing at a comedy club a year before he joined Saturday Night Live. Nobody asked the poor guy to sign that night. But now that everyone wants his autograph, he doesn’t give it out.
9. Cameron Diaz
You tend to think consistency is a good thing in an actor, but we make this list to point out a few of the more negative aspects of celebrity. “Cameron Diaz is consistent, year after year—for being one nasty signer,” says Risi. “And by that I mean she doesn’t sign, and she can be mean about it. There’s a reason she makes our list almost every year.”
Sterbini agrees. “She always avoids being seen as she goes to and from places. It has gotten to the point that I’ve just given up on her,” he says. “If someone goes to such extremes to avoid coming into contact with fans, a signature is just not going to happen.”
10. Nicole Kidman
“Nicole Kidman absolutely hates signing autographs for anyone,” says fellow Australian Richard Simpkin, who has regularly come into contact with Kidman and has been ignored almost every time. “She only scribbles her initials at movie premieres because she has to,” he continues. “She often even asks fans, ‘Why are you harassing me?’”
Ironically, Kidman’s husband, country singer Keith Urban, is a good signer. And her ex, Tom Cruise, often makes our 10 Best. We keep hoping that Kidman will see the light someday—but like the rest of the stars of our 10 Worst list, we’re not holding our breath.
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